shirou | Reading

Do you like to spend time outdoors?

Yes! I like walking, hiking and swimming outside. I don’t get to do any of those things often enough, but when I do, they make me very happy.
What is your favorite flower?

Whichever ones are currently in bloom. Right now it’s the tulips, and an iris just opened so for a few days it will be them as they're ephemeral. The roses are getting ready to go as well, and all of our rose bushes are bursting with buds this year which is nice to see.
Any favourite warm weather activities?

Gardening for hours, and then sitting on the lawn afterward with a refreshing cold beverage, admiring my handiwork and planning what to do next.
Have you ever kept a garden? If so, what did you grow?

Yes! I’m not really the architect of our garden. The layout is all the bloke’s handiwork. I like weeding, trimming, and helping out the flowering plants and veg he chooses.
Do you know how to swim?

Yes, but not particularly well. I do wish I’d had proper swimming lessons as a child. Both my children swim very well because of their lessons, and Humuhumu has done lifesaving courses too.

This month features Trieste, Venice, Durham, and ice cream, as well as the usual dosages of children and cats.

On another note, I have just sent an e-mail to the wrong person with the same name *three* times. I think I need to step away from the keyboard for a bit.

conuly in

agonyaunt

Dear Annie: I have been married for 12 years to a good man whom I love very much, but I dread nearly every holiday, birthday dinner and casual Sunday visit with his family. On the surface, my in-laws are charming, polished and the sort of people everyone else describes as "so nice." But behind that polished exterior is a steady drip of cutting remarks aimed almost entirely at me.

My mother-in-law has a talent for delivering insults with a smile. She will look at a meal I brought and say, "Well, that's certainly ... rustic," or ask whether I am "still doing that little job of yours," even though I work full time and do quite well. My father-in-law joins in with jokes about how their son "used to eat better before marriage" or how I have "modern ideas" whenever I disagree with them about anything from parenting to politics to how often we should visit.

The comments are always subtle enough that if I react, I look oversensitive. But after years of this, I feel like I am being pecked to death by very well-dressed chickens.

What hurts most is that my husband says, "That's just how they are," and urges me to ignore it to keep the peace. But there is no peace for me. I leave these gatherings replaying every jab in my head for days.

How do I tell my in-laws to stop without blowing up the family? And how do I get my husband to understand that "just ignore it" is not a strategy, it is surrender? -- Bruised by Politeness

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conuly in

agonyaunt

DEAR ABBY: I'm struggling with what to do about my first job out of college. I've been here for four months, and while I expected a learning curve, I didn't expect the environment to feel so hostile. My boss yells at me across the office for small, easily fixable mistakes. The latest incident involved her slamming her hands on the table several times and shouting, "What are you talking about?" while I was trying to clarify a question. I couldn't even get my words out.

I'm in the second round of interviews for another job with a different company, and I'm torn about what to do. My parents think I should stick it out to avoid being seen as a job hopper. But I feel anxious going into work every day. This environment is eroding my confidence.

Furthermore, I will be moving to a new town with my fiance next year, so I'm wondering if it's smarter to stay for another several months or take the new job (which will be remote, if I get it) even though I'm worried I might not like that one either.

Am I too sensitive? Should I leave a job this quickly, or push through until my move? How do I make the right decision when I feel guilty no matter what I choose? -- CONFLICTED IN NEBRASKA

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s h i r o u

Reading

The Friday Five on a Saturday

1SE for April 2026

LW does not have an inlaw problem, she has a husband problem

LW should've sent this one to Ask a Manager

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November 2011

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